


Lipstick On Your Collar

by Stargatewars



Series: A Schitt Year [8]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: M/M, Romance, Siblings, Suspicions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-12 02:12:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18001844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stargatewars/pseuds/Stargatewars
Summary: Alexis finds lipstick on the collar of David's sweater. She fears the worst. That David is cheating on Patrick. Upon investigation the evidence mounts, but what does she do with the information? Tell Patrick? Keep her brothers secret?





	Lipstick On Your Collar

**Author's Note:**

> 'A Schitt Year' is a weekly series of stand alone stories focusing on the relationship between David and Patrick from Schitt's Creek.  
> Prompts are welcome and encouraged because coming up with 56 stories on your own isn't easy!  
> All rating welcome. Hope you enjoy!

Alexis sat at the table in her and David's room working on a business proposal. Ted had dropped her home about an hour earlier, before he started an early shift at the vet’s office.

As she read over her proposal one more time, David walked through the door. He wore a white Givenchy sweater with black accents, ripped jeans and his Chuck Taylors.

'Morning,' she chirped, David grunted in reply as he dropped his bag on his bed and took a seat opposite her.

'How's Patrick?' she asked as she watched David glance at his phone with a smile.

'Hmm? Fine. He's at the store,' David responded dismissively before returning his attention back to his phone.

Then she saw it. A smudge of deep red lipstick on the collar of David's sweater.

Alexis would recognise a lipstick stain anywhere. She'd seen them too many times on Stavros' collar.

'David what the hell is that?' she pointed, brushing her finger against his sweater.

'What?' David glanced down pulling the sweater away from his skin slightly to get a better look, 'Eww.'

Jumping up David disappeared into the bathroom. Alexis sat tapping her fingers against the table, trying to rationalise why her brother, who was dating a man, would have lipstick on his collar.

When David reappeared he wore only his white shirt and was dabbing the stain with a cotton bud.

'David, why do you have lipstick on your sweater?' she asked, trying to remain calm. Trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.

'I don't know Alexis,' David said not meeting her eye.

'David,' Alexis grabbed the sweater from his hand, 'what the hell is lipstick doing on your collar?'

'God,' David snatched the sweater back, 'it's none of your business.' he folded the sweater and placed it in his hamper.

'Are you cheating on Patrick?' Alexis asked.

'What? No!' David screwed his face up. Alexis stood glaring at him as he collected his clothes for a shower.

'If you aren't cheating on Patrick, where did the lipstick come from?' Alexis asked again.

'None of your business Alexis,' David headed to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

Alexis paced the room, flashes of her own past coming to mind. Of all the times that she had found lipstick on her boyfriends collars, or other even more incriminating evidence.

Pulling out her phone she messaged Ted.

 

_ 9.10am: Babe. I think David is cheating on Patrick!!! _

**9.12am: What? No way. Why would you think that?**

_ 9.12am: Because he came home with LIPSTICK on his collar!!! _

_ 9.13am: And he won't say where it's from. _

**9.15am: I'm sure there's a reason.**

_ 9.16am: Like what Ted?!?! _

**9.21am: Like... I don't know**

_ 9.21am: EXACTLY! What do I do? _

**9.22am: I don't know babe. I'm sorry.**

 

Alexis threw her phone down in frustration. She heard the water turn off in the bathroom.

A few minutes later David appeared from the bathroom.

'Are you trying an open relationship?' Alexis asked.

'Take a bath with a toaster Alexis,' David replied without looking at her, fixing his hair in the mirror.

'Threesome?' Alexis tried her other idea.

'My god,' David said grabbing his bag, 'let it go.' He disappeared out the door.

Alexis would do anything but let it go. She had been in Patrick's shoes enough in the past to know not to let it go. Too many times she had found out a partner had cheated on her. Sure she wasn't particularly known for being faithful herself, but in that moment, her own indiscretions disappeared. She was a changed woman. She remembered the times that David had been cheated on, or found out he was in an open relationship after the fact and she was shocked that he would do blatantly hurt Patrick in the same ways he'd been hurt in the past. No Alexis wouldn't let this go. She needed to find out the truth.

***

Alexis waited. She knew the game. David would have his guard up now that she suspected him. She'd seen it before.

She wondered why David would decide to cheat. Everything seemed great between him and Patrick. She'd never seen David this happy before. David had never been the one to cheat before, that she was aware of. Be cheated on, yes. But actively cheat? It was so unlike him.

But then again so was falling in love and settling down. Perhaps that was it, she thought.  _ Classic self-sabotage _ . David was actively destroying his relationship before Patrick could break his heart.

Alexis decided that she had to get to the bottom of it and if David wouldn't own up to his behaviour she would do it for him. She couldn't stand by while someone cheated. Even if it was her brother. Especially if it was her brother.

***

A few days later Alexis walked into the cafe to find David and Patrick having breakfast together in one of the booths.

'Good morning Patrick. David,' Alexis slid into the booth beside Patrick, giving David a knowing look. He looked away from her.

'Good morning Alexis,' Patrick smiled. She felt terrible. He seemed so happy, and yet she knew that his happiness would be short lived.

'Busy day ahead?' she asked, again throwing David a pointed look.

'Just running the store,' Patrick replied, taking a bite of his toast.

'That's really great of you Patrick,' she smiled broadly at him, 'you are such a loyal and faithful worker. You are really committed to the store.' Patrick gave her a quizzical look, while David's eyes flared annoyance.

'Well they are the store hours,' Patrick said, 'speaking of... David we better head on over.' Alexis stepped out of the booth to give Patrick space to stand. David screwed up his mouth at her and shook his head.

'What?' she mouthed.

'You have a great day Alexis. Sorry we can't stay,' Patrick smiled. She waved them off, throwing an angry glance at David as he rubbed Patrick's shoulders as they left.

Her heart broke for Patrick, who was clearly oblivious of what David was doing behind his back.

***

Several more days had passed without incident. But still not trusting that David had sorted himself out, Alexis was determined to investigate further. As much as Ted tried to dissuade her she knew something was going on.

As Alexis listened to the water run in the bathroom she ran across the room and grabbed David's phone. He never changed his lock combination so it didn't take her long to get into it.

Scrolling through his messages that wasn't anything that immediately jumped out at her. Each of the women's names in his contact list seemed to be a supplier of some kind.  _ Perhaps the messages are coded? _ she thought to herself. Searching more closely at the messages she couldn't work it out if that was the case. The messages were about delivery schedules or payments, nothing out of the ordinary.  _ He's good at this _ she reflected.

In one final desperate search she went into his messages from Patrick, praying that she wouldn't find any sexts or pictures that would haunt her.

The last messages were from the night before and that morning.

 

_ 6.45pm: David, the rehearsals is going to run over. I'll be back later than I thought. _

**6.47pm: No rush. I got held up anyway.**

_ 7.20pm: Rehearsal is done. I'm back at my place if you still wanted to come over. _

**7.25pm: Sure thing. I'll be there shortly.**

Alexis felt a rush. David had come back to the motel room the night before but left by 6pm saying he was going to Patrick's. He clearly wasn't there at all.

She then looked at the messages from this morning.

_ 7.50am: Sorry you had to leave so early. The bed is really empty without you. _

**7.52am: First, I have to stop by Stevie's and second, you get up not long after that anyway.**

_ 7.55am: I can still miss you can't I? I haven't seen you as much lately. _

**7.55am: I'll allow it. See you soon. X**

David hadn't got back to the motel till around 9am. He said in his messages he was at Stevie's. Alexis couldn't help but dig deeper.

She threw David's phone back down as she heard the water being turned off and headed out the door.

***

'Good morning Stevie,' Alexis said walking into the motel reception.

'Morning,' Stevie replied looking up from her books.

'So Stevie,' Alexis shuffled closer to the desk, 'David was just saying that he was at your place earlier and that you have really good coffee.' She wasn't sure where that idea came from but hoped it was enough.

'David wasn't at my place,' Stevie said her face remaining steady. Alexis couldn't read her.

'He said he was,' Alexis pressed.

'Well I don't know what to tell you. I haven't seen your brother today,' Stevie glanced nervously down at her book.

'Ahh,' Alexis slapped her hand on the counter, 'you know something.'

'I don't know anything,' Stevie protested, 'and if I did. I'd tell you to leave it alone.'

This really confused Alexis. She knew that David and Stevie were basically best friends but would never have expected her to knowingly cover for David if it could hurt Patrick so badly.

'I'm onto you all,' Alexis said narrowing her eyes. Stevie glanced nervously around the room.

'Ok, but there is nothing to be onto,' Stevie said, settling in to stare at her book again. Alexis left more perplexed than before.

***

Another week passed with Alexis remaining alert to David's actions.

They were both home that night, with Ted working late and Patrick at rehearsals.

David lay on his bed reading when his phone buzzed. Alexis watched from the corner of her eye as David grabbed his phone, smiled then climbed out of bed and grabbed his things.

'Where are you going?' Alexis asked.

'Out,' David replied.

'But Patrick has rehearsal,' Alexis points out.

'I know where Patrick is,' David says before disappearing out the door.

Alexis grabbed her phone and called Ted.

'Hey babe,' he answered cheerfully.

'Oh my god Ted,' Alexis exclaimed, 'David just got a booty call!'

'From Patrick?' he asked, confusion in his voice.

'No. From Madam Lipstick. Poor Patrick is off at rehearsals and David's taking advantage,' Alexis felt enraged.

'Wow. Babe I'm so sorry. What are you going to do?'

'I don't know. I feel like I need to tell Patrick. He's a sweet little button face and David's messing this up. But David's my brother,' it was a hard situation for Alexis to find herself in. The longer it went on the more she felt like, brother be damned, Patrick had a right to know.

'Babe. I'm going to have to talk to you later about this. I have three more cats to spay tonight,' Ted said.

Ending the call Alexis sat in contemplation. The debate of whether to tell Patrick or not rolled around in her mind. Each time she had broached the topic with David he had been evasive. She would give him one final chance to tell her the truth, then she would expose him to Patrick. Consequences be damned.

***

The decision didn't take long for Alexis to make because the next morning David walked in with another smear of lipstick. However this time in addition to a smudge along his collar there was also one on the hem of his sweater.

'Eww David,' she cried, pointing dramatically at the stain near his crotch. David's eyes followed the line of her finger.

'Shit,' David said gripping the hem of his sweater.

'David, what the hell is going on? Who are you seeing?' Alexis demanded.

'Leave it alone Alexis,' David rushed towards the bathroom, Alexis standing in his way.

'You need to tell Patrick,' she said firmly.

'That you're in my way? Sure,' David tried to step around her.

'If you don't tell Patrick you're cheating on him I will,' Alexis glared at her brother. She felt sure that this would force his hand and he would tell her the truth. She was wrong.

'Alexis. I'm not cheating on Patrick. You need to get over yourself and leave it alone,' David pushed passed her into the bathroom.

But she couldn't leave it alone. Not after giving David so many chances to fix what he was going.

Alexis wouldn't speak to David once he returned from the bathroom. She felt too angry to acknowledge him. And she was already formulating her plan on when best to speak with Patrick.

***

Two days later Alexis overheard that Patrick was finishing at the store an hour early to get some practise in on his lines. She knew this would be her best opportunity.

Knocking on Patrick's apartment door when she was sure he would be home, and David would still be at the store, she waited.

Patrick opened the door a few moments later, script in his hand.

'Alexis?' he was taken aback. He couldn't think of a single time she had come over unannounced.

'Afternoon Patrick. Can I come in?' she said solemnly.

'Yeah, sure. David's not here right now,' Patrick said taking a step back so she could enter.

'I know. I came to talk to you,' Alexis looked around the room, 'can we sit?'

'Sure,' Patrick's face showed concern, 'is everything ok?'

'Not really Patrick,' Alexis took his hand and a deep breath, 'David's been cheating on you.'

'What?!' Patrick's voice rose. His face flashed with fear, the blood draining from his face.

'I've found lipstick on his collar on two separate occasions now,' Alexis started, 'and he won't tell me where it came from.'

'Lipstick?' Patrick narrowed his eyes, 'red lipstick?'

'What? You know who it is,' Alexis was shocked. He must have suspected something was going on.

‘No Alexis, it’s not what you think,’ Patrick stammered.

‘Oh my god. You knew?’ she was horrified, ‘Patrick. You can’t let David treat you like this. You deserve better. I know he’s my brother but he has no right to go behind your back,’ the anger within Alexis grew.

'Alexis. It's ok. I know who it is,' Patrick paused, an odd smirk crossed his lips, 'because it's me.'

It was Alexis' turn to be shocked, 'What?'

'It was me that left the lipstick on his collar. God, this is really embarrassing,' Patrick rubbed his hands across his face.

'Why? I don't understand,' confusion washed over her.

'David's been helping me with my makeup for the show. You know, The Emcee? I was really nervous so we've had a few practice runs. I asked him not to tell anyone because I didn't want people making fun of it.'

'But, no. One of the nights was when you were at rehearsal,' Alexis mentally ran through her evidence.

'A couple nights ago? We finished early so I messaged him to see if he wanted to come over,' Patrick explained.

‘But when I looked through his messages, he had lost time. He wasn't at the motel, but he wasn't at your place either,' Alexis pressed.

'You looked at his messages?' Patrick's brow furrowed again.

'For you Patrick,' she replied defensively, like that explained away her breaching her brother’s privacy.

'He would have been doing inventory at the store. He's been doing it a couple hours here and there while I'm at busy with rehearsals,' Patrick explained. He was honestly really proud of how much David had stepped up to support Patrick while he rehearsed for the play.

'But then in the messages he said he went to Stevie's and when I asked her she denied he was there,' Alexis tried again. Her evidence evaporating rapidly.

'He went to borrow that terrible suitcase of makeup that Mr Rose had bought her. David wanted to tried some different colours. She knew what we were doing. But David swore her to secrecy too,' Patrick replied. He indicated to his dresser across the room, sure enough the suitcase of makeup sat there, closed, await use.

'Oh. So he's not cheating on you then?' Alexis said letting go of the last of her suspicions, her voice becoming soft.

'No. He's being an amazingly supportive boyfriend and helping me get ready for the show,' Patrick replied.

'Okay…’ Alexis replied, trying to connect all the dots. She’d been so worried about this for so long, though, and it was hard to turn it off so quickly. And it still wasn't making sense. ‘But how did the lipstick end up on the hem of his sweater if he's helping you learn to put makeup on? He can't be that bad at applying it,' Alexis asked confused.

‘Umm…’ Patrick glanced at her raising an eyebrow. Then she understood, everything falling into place.

'Eww gross.' Patrick's cheeks reddened. She didn’t want to think about Patrick making out with her brother. More than just kissing, based on the location of the lipstick. Alexis did not need to think about her brother getting a blow job from his sweet boyfriend makeup or not. She shook her head, as if that would help the thought leave her.

'Look Alexis, I really appreciate your concern and the fact you came to tell me. But honestly David has done nothing wrong. He didn't tell you because I asked him not to. I'm sorry you were so worried.' Patrick smiled at her. He was touched that Alexis cared enough about him to speak with him about his concerns.

'You should have told me. I'm way better than David with makeup anyway,' Alexis replied.

'Thanks Alexis. We've worked out a pretty good style now,' Patrick replied. Alexis looked at him, trying to imagine blue button-down straight legged denim wearing Patrick Brewer with a face of makeup. She couldn't really see it. Patrick was attractive, sure. She flirted with him when she first met him, but his interests obvious lay elsewhere. But imagining him with a face full of stage makeup, with bright red lips? It wasn't an image she could conjure, although judging by the implied response from her brother it must be a sight to behold. It made her all the more excited for the performance.

At that moment they both heard the rattling of keys in the lock.

'Shit,' Alexis said burying her face in her hands for a moment. She would now be outed as a creepy stalker. David would be pissed. Looking at Patrick, he smiled, a slight twinkle in his eye.

As David entered, Patrick stood.

'Hi... what the hell are you doing here?' he asked accusingly. She opened her mouth to speak.

'Take a seat please David,' Patrick's voice was firm. Alexis raised an eyebrow.

'What is this?' David said sitting opposite them, Patrick returned to his seat beside Alexis.

'David, Alexis came here to talk to me because she was... concerned about some of your behaviour,' Patrick remained completely calm, Alexis caught on and threw a knowing look at David.

'My behaviour?' David's voice rose.

'Did you want to explain or should I?' Alexis chimed in.

'Explain? What? I have no idea what's going on here,' David's eyes darted between the two of them.

'David...' Alexis began before Patrick raised a hand.

'David do you care to explain why Alexis has been finding lipstick on your clothes?' Patrick asked.

'What?' David looked nervous, which made this all the more funny to Alexis, but she managed to keep her face still, 'I don't know what she's talking about.'

'Don't you David?' Alexis spoke again.

'Patrick? Do I know what she's talking about?' David looked at his boyfriend clearly asking permission to speak the truth. And then he sees it. The slightest smirk across Patrick's face. And when he looks more closely at Alexis she is wearing one too.

'You've already told her haven't you?' he said, relief and annoyance washing over him in equal measures. Patrick and Alexis laughed.

'I'm sorry David. I couldn't help myself,' Patrick laughed.

'I hate you,' David attempted to look angry.

'No you don't,' replied Patrick confidently.

'You should have told me David. I'm better at doing makeup than you,' Alexis stated.

'Patrick asked me not to. But it's ok. I stole some of your lipstick anyway,' David threw her a look.

'You what?' Alexis stood, 'you used my expensive lipstick so you could make out with your boyfriend?' Patrick's cheeks reddened again.

'Thank you for your support in the arts,' David responded with bite.

'Thanks for the supplies Alexis. Whether you knew it or not,' Patrick smiled, then glanced at David.

'Well I expect a thank you in your speech Patrick,' she retorted.

'Noted,' Patrick said. Alexis glanced between David and Patrick, noting how softly they looked at each other.

'Well I'm getting out of here before you two start making out on the couch. Lipstick or not,' Alexis grabbed her bag.

'Bye,' David called. Patrick stood and followed her to the door.

'Thanks again for your concern Alexis. It means a lot,' Patrick gave her arm a gentle squeeze.

'Well, lucky for you I'm such a caring person,' she chose to ignore the scoff coming from David.

‘Fall down the stairs on your way out,’ David called to her as she gave a final wave heading out the door, and the relief that her brother wasn't cheating on the love of his life washed over her again. She wasn't really sure how she was going to explain what had happened and her  _ slight _ overreaction. She was just glad things were ok, and that she got out of Patrick's apartment before she was exposed to any more of their sexual exploits. Heading down the stairs she pulled out her phone to message Ted. He was going to find this hilarious, she just knew it.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this fic comments and/or kudos are much appreciated. I'd love to know your thoughts!  
> If you have any prompts for the future please comment below or contact me on Tumblr at @Stargatewars


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